THE DIARY
by Camui Yoi
Summary: GACKT x HYDE. GACKT POV. Actually this is my first Gakuhai fic in English. I'm sorry if I have grammar mistakes.. Hope you like this fic. *bowing*


**THE DIARY**

**GACKT POV**

Author : Camui Yoi

Pairing : Gackt x Hyde

Rating : PG

Genre : Angst... I think *chukle*

Disclaimer : I don't own both of them. They own themself. :D

Note : Actually this is my first GakuHai fic in English. I'm sorry if I have grammar mistakes.. Hope you like this fic. *bowing*

* * *

There's a dark cloud around the graveyard, adding the sadness in every person who still standing, staring at the tombstone with a name "Hideto Takarai". Sobs from his family and friends escort him into his eternal sleep.

Cry... I see in every eye in front of me already swollen because of cry. Everyone crying for your death, Hyde. Why can't I? Why I can't shed a tears like everyone? I also feel losing you. It hurt me when I saw your body in a coffin, my mind completely lost, but you still in your sleep. I feel like jumping into your grave, to accompany you.

"Gackt?" I look at someone who called me. A man with black suit coming closer. "Tetsu?"

"Here." He gave me a book. I look at that book with a curiosity. "What's this?"

"Before he died, DoiHa gave me that book to passed it to you."

I take the book in my hand. "Thanks, Tetsu. My condolence for Hyde.."

He smile and nod. Then I walk away from the graveyard.

01:00 am now and I don't know why I can't sleep. There's something bothering me.

Hyde... only his name in my mind right now. Why did you left your family, left your friends.. Why did you left me behind. I feel so bad.. I'm sorry I can't tell you about my feeling. Now I regret what I've done. Why can't I tell you? Hyde... I am lifeless now. I can't see your smile anymore. I can't hear your grumbling, your laughter. I can't feel the touch of your skin..

I look at my bedside table. There is a book which is gave by Tetsu this afternoon. I take the book and open it. This is Hyde's diary. I start to reading..

_Date and time_

_Hey! Today I went to Gackt's house. Hehe.. I'm happy. His house is sooo dark. He didn't like the light. His eyes is so sensitive. We talked about so much stuffs. And he drove me home. So happy._

_What?! Already 1 a'clock?! I have to sleep now or Tetsu will give me a great scream tomorrow._

My lips can't stop smiling. Imagining Hyde with his pouty lips talking about Tetsu's wrath. Sigh... I continue to read it.

_Date and time_

_So tired.. Today's schedule is torturing me. Interview this, interview that. Meeting with so many people. But I'm happy when Gacchan ask me to go lunch with him (Yes. Starting today I called him "Gacchan". He's so cute when I called him that.) He's a romantic person! Wow... Why does my heart beating so fast right now?_

_Date and time_

_I feel so sick now. Is it because of the weather? What's wrong with me? My head feel so much pain. Gacchan was here some hours ago. He said he was afraid about my condition. Hehe.. I don't know why, but I feel so happy everytime I see Gacchan. _

_Date and Time_

_Gacchan.. where are you? Want to see Gacchan so much.._

I smile while reading the book. Hyde..

_Date and Time_

_I fainted again today. This is the 3__rd__time in a week. What's wrong with my body? I often feel my head throbbing from pain. I went to hospital with Tetchan today. After a couple of check up and scanning, finally doctor gave me my result of medical check up. I felt the thunder struck my head. Positively I suffer from that Chronic Neural Disease. I told Tetchan to keep it from Gacchan. I don't want he worry about me. I don't want to make him sad.. I don't want he leave me.. Gacchan.. I'm sorry I can't tell you..._

I feel my heart and body throbbing. Hyde... why didn't you tell me? I definitely will not leave your side! Why...? God...

_Date and Time_

_Gacchan... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..._

_Date and Time_

_I can't take it anymore. It hurt so much.. My head. My body. My heart.. Gacchan... Gacchan..I'm so scared... Scared of death.. I will be lonely up there..._

_Date and Time_

_No... no... I can't give up. I have to be strong. I don't want to see his worried face again like today. I'm okay, Gacchan._

My body trembling so hard. It's like something want to come out. Hardly, I tried to continue to read.

_Date and time_

_When an emptiness coming to greet me.._

_There is only one name that crossing my mind.._

_Without any purpose to come.._

_But suddenly I realize.._

_When I lost my direction, he gave me a way.._

_When I trapped into darkness, he gave me a light_

_When I can't breath, he gave me a freshness_

_When I almost break into pieces, he gave me a soul_

_What happen with me?_

_His smile always look so beautiful_

_His existence always soothing my mind_

_Everything.._

_Until slowly and full of confident.._

_I finally can say that... I am falling in love with.._

_Gacchan._

_Thank you for filling my life with love_

_Thank you for coloring my life with happiness_

_Thank you for your existence.._

_Thank you to be a part of my life.._

_Aishiteru Gacchan... Itsumo, aishitteru.._

I feel something warm running down from my cheeks. Hyde.. I love you too. Forever.. and always love you..

- END -


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